Friday, May 10, 2019

SSN ❤️

You've shown me why I was here. It may have taken doubting my MBA decision, a breakdown in my hostel room, and late night Google searches of different career opportunities, but I'm really figuring it out now. I'm finding out what I'm good at and I'm going with it.

You showed me who I am. I have changed so much since we started this adventure and I could not be more proud of the decisions I’ve taken while I was here. I am a different person, a better person, a more determined and happier person now. I know what I want and I'm not afraid to go after it. I'm not afraid of failing anymore, I'm not afraid of falling short or even being rejected. I'm confident in the person I've become and the person I will turn into.

You’ve given me the people that have helped me so much when it comes to finding out who I am. You gave me the people that would fill in as family members, best friends, therapists, you name it. You've given me a few wake up calls and endless life lessons. You've shown me reality. You let me fail a couple of times but you taught me that failure is inevitable and how you react to failure is what determines the kind of person you are.

In these four years, I have learned more about myself than I ever have before. They were one big, delicious smoothie blended with moments of love, beauty, doubt, exhaustion, and friendship. Today being one of the most special days in my life, I would like to express my deepest gratitude to you for everything you've given me. Life, love, career, job, money, degree and what not?

Last year, this day I walked through streets of SSN. Benches that were once (and still are) familiar, were now tainted by separation, no longer places that I could actively claim as my own. Through the cryptic powers of nostalgia, I was able to see scenes from my college days playing out on the campus: running late from the hostel to class with my “no-kajal no-lipbalm supremely-grumpy” face, hell lot of books in hand, or coming out of the building after class to him waiting with a knowing smile.

So here's to you, SSN. Here's to letting me fail, laugh and cry. Here’s to always letting me discover who I am and who I have the power to be. Here's to changing my life in more ways than I can ever say. I swear I wouldn't trade our time together for anything.

#SSN #ThreeYearsOfLoveAndHappiness #GratefulBeyondWords

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Happy work anniversary to me!

June 2017: It was a bright and shiny morning in Chennai. I was waiting with equal measures of excitement and nerves, ready to start my first day at work. I wasn’t sure if I'd made the right decision by joining the organization. In all honesty, being a fresher with zero knowledge in Marketing, my expectations weren't exactly sky-high. I was anticipating nothing more than the usual (and unnecessary) pressure cooker environment, and overlong hours of tedious and uncreative work - the usual corporate grind.

Fast-forward to June 2018: I am happy to say that I am here, celebrating my first year at HTC Global Services! It really is true - time flies when you actually do something meaningful. My career at HTC has entirely changed my perceptions of what an organization could offer its employees in terms of knowledge, experience, work culture and what not. I have so much more than simply a job; in fact, I can tell you that I can never find any company as amazing as this one.

Have I ever felt demotivated or depressed at HTC? NO. Have I ever felt like moving on to a different company with much higher package? NO. Have I ever felt like I am being paid lesser than what I actually deserve? No. I am a kind of a person who do not work for money. “Money doesn’t matter to me”. I am sure it’d look like a cliché to some of you. But I swear, learning is all that matters to me.

It is noteworthy to say that I am the only person who is taking care of the Marketing activities in the business unit I am currently working in. Therefore, my position obviously demands some extra work, learnings, challenges, opportunities etc.  Soon after my sixth month at work, I had my own team. My team gradually grew bigger and stronger. Now I am managing a team of eight people. I report to the Vice president himself. This is another major advantage to me. This is because when you report to the right people from the organisation, your best ideas get heard, get implemented, and you’re recognized for your contribution much more than if you have 20 layers of bureaucracy between you and the top management in your organization. Similarly, I have been given so many incredible opportunities to grow my career, and to meet my personal goals.

This is the first organization I've ever worked at where every day I go to work with a big smile on my face, a soul full of enthusiasm, and a mind brimming with ideas. I also know that a warm welcome always awaits me at HTC’s office. Each and every security staff, housekeeping helpers, canteen staff etc. are nothing short to sweet, always in a great mood and always welcome me with a great smile and have conversations with me. My colleagues are extremely sweet. My managers have turned into my mentors. What more could anyone ask for? Every contribution I make is valued, and my managers thrive on watching my career progress.

I’m fortunate to have an amazing boss who motivates me, push me beyond my limits and is always supportive during crisis. I really enjoy working with well-experienced people who are Managers, Specialists etc. and on critical as well as interesting issues. Every assignments, deliverables were forcing me to learn something new, pushing me a bit beyond my comfort zone – something that I doubt I would’ve got in any other company.

One whole year has just flown by. Today, when I look back, the previous year was full of learning, full of networking, full of marketing.           

So yeah, I enjoy life at HTC so much that I figured - why not brag about it a little?

Happy work anniversary to me. It’s been a fantastic journey for me so far - and I know that the best is yet to come. Could not have asked for anything better. Looking forward to another productive year at work!

Sunday, June 3, 2018

How the Before Trilogy Changed me

The Before Trilogy changed me.

I dont think I have watched any romantic movies as raw as this one! I feel love stories and romantic movies shape our perception about this feeling of love a lot. The fact that we think simply words, roses and chocolates can complete this feeling is simply ridiculous. Cheesy romantic movies have just made 'love' delusional. What day-dreamish expectation it creates!

Movies like these help. Love is not perfect but beautiful. Love is not a cinch, it's sometimes a pain in the wrong place. Love is not always about posting pictures on Instagram with cheesy and lovey-dovey captions, it's about putting those captions into action. Relationships are what we make out of it. It is messy but it is something 'real' at the end of the day.

Everything from the story, to the writing, to the characters had me hooked. It was a love story, I could root for, invest in and heave that satisfied sigh for at the end. This film helped me grow as a person and exposed my world to the struggles, passion, endurance and desires in a relationship.

Linklater's works are to be felt. It just cannot be judged.

Thank you Before Sunrise , Before Sunset &  Before Midnight. ❤️

Friday, June 1, 2018

I am on a "Friends" Deleting spree and it’s making me fall back in love with the social network

I’m on a Facebook cleanse, and it’s making me fall back in love with the social network I couldn’t stand for years. YES!! I will be de-friending everyone – all that will remain will be real life family and friends who I regularly catch up with (or those whom I want to keep in touch with).

Through the years, I have lost some, deleted some, been deleted by some, and gained many. Too many. I feel lost in a sea of friends, some of which I have absolutely no contact with at all. That is what has brought me to the point where I need to reassess the whole concept.

So this week is my Friends List Cleaning Week, since it’s pointless to have "friends" who never interact and only lurk. I’m about one week into my Facebook cleanse, and I’m down—after a couple of satisfying unfriendings this week—to 560 friends, a 22 percent reduction.

Over the last two years, I have felt consistently happy. This is the longest stretch of happiness I have encountered since I was a child. Over the same amount of time, I have cut a multitude of people out of my life that dragged me down in one way or another: energy-zappers, Arce lickers, judgmental Janes, etc.

I have had someone whom I thought was a good friend cut all ties with me coz they got butthurt over an argument on Social Media. It really doesn’t matter to me coz that person’s attitude has always sickened me from the beginning.  That person is probably still bitching about me, seeking others help to pull me down, ganging up against me, asking others to unfriend/block me etc. I am quite sure about the last one coz I’ve had at least 2-3 people unfriending me after that argument and I can’t me more happier about it :D

Trust me, today morning I woke up and decided to remove a couple of people from my friends list, turns out they have already removed me and unfollowed me on Fb and Instagram coz that ex-friend has asked them to do so (Arce-kissers I told ya :D ). Coincidence much? Well...hey, if you are reading this, you just went straight out and did it! THANK YOU. I applaud you until my palms bleed!

Though I have zero interest in seeing these people again, I can say I’m proud of having ended things that way. The only interaction I could see myself having with these people is me asking them to be true to at least one person and telling them the reasons for my action. No apologies. No regrets. I am letting it all go with love and prayers.

Guys, if any person in your network is toxic, arse-kissing the person whom you hate all the time, AIR (All India Radio), all time peeper, too much into your personal life, spreading rumours about you, taking your ideas and practising clear cut plagiarism, possess malintentions about you, hurtful, hateful and trying to take a toll on your personal life, then, DISCARD them immediately. It’s your life, unfriend them and give opportunity to those cranky nuts to start minding their respective lives. I CANNOT deal with these types and I am making an effort to cut them from the list. The negative energy they give off could dry up Niagara Falls.

However, even more recently, I have tried to just limit my contact with the remaining negative nancies in my life instead of just ceasing to talk to them. Not only do I have a better outlook of life and have great things happen to me (yes they are correlated!), but the guilt of cutting ties with them is practically non-existent.

Anyway, Facebook’s a lot better now. Once it felt like a stadium packed full of strangers and so called “friends” yelling at each other. Now it feels more like a cocktail party. My lifelong friends, current co-workers, high-school pals and online friends. We all mean something to each other.

This is because I have decided to SIMPLFY my life and focus on the people and things that bring good, positive, exciting, and engaging things to my life. I think it’s really a good practice to evaluate our friendships – all our relationships – periodically.

So if you’re suffering from friend clutter, try a one-year Facebook cleanse. It’ll make your online experience a lot cleaner, better and  more meaningful.


A realist who cannot tolerate fake friendships :)

Friday, January 19, 2018

Sometimes ❤️

Sometimes I look at you and I can’t understand how someone before me didn’t see what I see. Sometimes I look at you and I can’t understand how someone didn’t find the home in you. Sometimes I look at you and I can’t understand how someone before me didn’t notice a whole beautiful universe hidden within you. Sometimes I look at you and I can’t understand how someone before me looked at you and didn’t find every single thing they’d been searching for in a single human being.

Sometimes I look at you and I can’t understand how someone before me failed to memorize the feel of your skin, your smell, the sound of your voice, and played it over and over in their mind. Sometimes I look at you and I can’t understand how someone before me didn't think you were enough. I can’t understand how someone before me didn't realize this you, all raw, all real, all flawed, yet incredibly beautiful.

Sometimes I look at you I can’t understand how someone failed to own you, your flaws, mistakes, weirdness, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm, everything.  I can’t understand how someone failed to be thankful to your mom for raising the perfect man who respects women in every way. Sometimes I look at you and I can’t understand how someone before me didn't fall in love with what you’re missing, what you’ve lost and what you’re still holding onto.

Sometimes I look at you and I can’t understand how someone’s entire world didn’t flip the moment they looked into your eyes. I can’t understand how someone was not ready to go through everything that is meant to tear them apart and failed to come out even stronger. Sometimes I look at you and I can’t understand how someone’s heart didn’t skip a beat every time they saw your smile.

And sometimes I look at you feeling glad that they DIDN'T, because if they looked deep enough to see all of those things within you, I would’ve never been able to. <3


Saturday, December 9, 2017

Random Sunday morning musing!

Have you ever met two people in love who absolutely had no problems ever? Have you met two people in love who is happy 24/7? I haven't either.

Are we really in love? Why is he very short tempered? Is she ignoring the shit out of me? Is she even worth all the effort? Why is he making me cry?

Those aren't the questions you ask yourself. Instead, I would ask myself these questions.

Is that person the first one who comes to my mind when I want to share butter buns from the nearest bakery?

Is that person my home? The kind of person who doesn't yell at me but rather gives me a tight hug when I say, I screwed up.

Is that person my rock? The one who would always chase me like I am the only woman in this world. Who'd never give up on me no matter how difficult I'd become when I argue.

Is that person worth every tear shed? The one that would make me go to places we used to go, looking for the air that he breathed?

Is that person someone who makes me forget what anxiety feels like? The one who doesn't give me the overrated butterflies in my stomach feeling every single time but calms my entire body and mind with just a non-sexual touch.

Yes. Falling in love is easy. It's slightly harder to stay in love. What's even more harder is constantly trying to make that person feel on top of the world.

Don't allow any external forces control you. Don't let anyone influence your decisions. Don't give a shit about what others have to say about him/her. Fu*k em' all. Don't force yourself to fit into the mould that the society approves. When it comes to love, don't aspire to meet the benchmarks that have already been written. Set your own❤️

Monday, December 4, 2017

Lunchbox food packed at home is not just food...

I am learning to appreciate anything and everything I come across lately. Of late, I feel the need to appreciate every little thing in my life (I am proud that I am developing some good habits finally). So today, I wanted to write a blog on the “lunchbox” that I carry to the office every day. You might probably think that I am absolutely jobless and I’m probably getting paid for writing blogs about trivial things during office hours. Well, yeah, maybe I am jobless (I hope my boss doesn’t see this) But I don’t think what I am going to talk about now is a trivial topic. NO. It is not. Let me tell you why.  

Well..My mum is an AWESOME cook. I have a bunch of friends who are still friends with me only for her food. I am not even kidding. I remember one incident vividly. One of my friends came to my house out of the blue, she entered the kitchen, took a plate, put every dish that was on the almirah on the plate all by herself and started eating. She managed to wave me a ‘Hi’ just for the courtesy. I was glad that she acknowledged my presence though. So yeah, everybody in my circle loves her cooking. This is why I find it difficult to adjust with food wherever I go. I am used to always eating tasty, yummy food ever since I was small. Therefore, I find it really difficult to eat a badly made sambar, rasam, chicken curry or anything for that matter. Now, if someone gives me tasteless sambar or vathakozhambu rice, I cringe.

When I was in school, my mum used to pack me lunch every day. I used to be a very difficult person when I was a kid (I still am I guess? :P) I remember plotting every dustbin near my school so that I can drop the remaining food inside the dustbin. Most of the days, I forget to throw the food and go back home with uneaten lunchboxes. When asked about the food, I used to say “I thought I was supposed to have French toast on Mondays and not the boring lemon rice!” Then, one day I surprisingly ended up liking the food from my classmate’s tiffin box. I begged my mum to prepare the same food. So she somehow got in touch with my classmates’ mum and asked her the recipe and cooked the same food (SIGH, the amount of effort she puts in making me eat). I only took a bite of it, complained that the food was radically different from the one I ate from my classmate’s tiffin box (Yeah, I was such a pain the wrong place). This is how I used to be. I was a bad eater. I still am. I am so bloody choosy when it comes to food and I am definitely not proud about it. I can go days without eating. I am a kind of a person who would rather stay hungry than eating the food that I do not like. I, of course, ended up in ulcer few years back (however, I partially recovered now, thanks to my mum and MOP’s food).

Now that I look back, I feel terrible for making my mum suffer a lot. I feel tremendous regret over what I had done in the past and for all the tantrums I threw as a kid. I am 22 years now. Only now, I realized that my mum basically hates cooking. I still wonder how could somebody hate something yet be ridiculously good at it. She cooks very slowly. She needs minimum of two hours to cook a complete meal (I am not even exaggerating). Nevertheless, she cooks yummy food. I now realize how difficult it is for my mum to get me and my brother out the door by 9AM. We always end up yelling her before we get out the door (usually me) for making us wait a little longer for packing the lunchbox. Imaging packing lunch for a person like me. Just knowing that she will have to open it at some point in the evening and face its horror would make her want to cry. And yes, she knows that cafeteria food is an option for me, but she also knows that a super-picky eater like me would do even worse with cafeteria food. Therefore, of late she packs something for me every day.

In order to pack food, she has to wake up early every single day. She has to start cooking a couple of hours before we leave coz my mum’s cooking speed is very low. In the meantime, she gotta prepare morning chai and breakfast for all of us. Sigh! This is definitely not easy! And I feel extremely terrible for all the food I have wasted in my entire life. Because I know that most of the days she should have been shocked by how little was eaten, and the explosive mess that ensued in my meagre attempts to eat. The simple act of taking lunch out of the backpack, placing it on the almirah, and starting to unzip the thing takes courage. Coz the left out food in the tiffin box is not just food. It is hours and hours of effort, sacrifice, love, care, and patience. Every time I look at the lunchbox now, I thank the almighty for giving me food, a wonderful mother and a beautiful family. I know a lot people are struggling without all of these things! 

Ma, I promise, I will never underestimate the relentless effort you put into everything you do for us. Hereafter, I will not waste the food cooked by you. I will not shout at you for making me wait in the morning. I will not hurt you. Also, thank you for being the most amazing mother. I am just extremely lucky to have you in my life. You are a super woman and if I ever have kids, I will love them like how you love us. Thank you for sacrificing everything to make us lead a comfortable and a happy life. We are forever indebted to you. THANK YOU. I hope when I become a mother, I'm at least half the amazing woman you are!

So, to all the moms out there who pack lunch for your kids every day, fist pump to you. Oh, and LOVE and HUGS too. In bulk. <3